VERBAL COMMUNICATION
VERBAL COMMUNICATION- AN INTRODUCTION:
Verbal communication is communication with help of words. It could be oral or spoken. It occurs when there is direct or indirect contact between two or more individuals and the exchange takes place with the help of words.
To be a good oral communicator one needs the following qualities:
• Clear speaking voice
• The ability to speak at the correct pace. (Too fast and the audience can’t take it in. Too slow and they get bored.)
• Confidence to talk to a range of audiences, from one individual to a large gathering of strangers.
• An understanding of how non-verbal gestures can affect and influence an audience's reaction.
• Good listening skills, so not to talk over someone else or interrupt him or her, and to be able to listen and take in replies to respond to them as necessary.
• The ability to use a variety of tones in order to arouse interest in the listener. One major area of oral communication is face-to-face communication. This can occur either in a formal or informal manner: Formal occasions include business meeting such as an Annual General Meeting, (AGM) or an interview between an employee and employer. Informal occasions include lunch with customers or potential customers or just the passing of an instruction from one employee to another.
Face to face communication offers a number of advantages:
• It allows for immediate feedback.
• Information can be passed on quickly.
• It encourages greater co-operation among employees.However there are also disadvantages of verbal, face to face communications:
• Participants may be unskilled and may find verbal communication, especially to large audiences very daunting.
• Poor non-verbal communication can be counter-productive for a business.
Another area of oral communication is mediated communication. Here we use one mechanical medium for communicating. The most common mediated communication is telephonic conversation. In the last 100 years the telephone has become the most popular method of fast and direct communication. The benefits of the telephone include:
• The immediate passing of information to another person.
• They are easily used and universally available.
• An immediate reply can be obtained.
• The service is relatively cheap.
• The rapid increase in use of mobile phones has made them even more flexible as mobile phone users can be reached at any time in any place.
The disadvantages of telephonic conversation are:
• The sender of the message cannot see the non-verbal reactions of the recipient.
• No formal record of conversations is kept, so it may prove difficult to prove what has been said at a later date. So oral communication takes place every day in so many different situations - whether you are talking on the phone or in person, whether you are talking to an old friend or a waitress at a restaurant. Oral communication is twofold - speaking and listening. Effective oral communication requires both effective speaking and effective listening.
TIPS TO BE A GOOD SPEAKER:
• Speak up: Make sure that the volume of your voice is right for your audience. If you are only talking to one other person there is no need to shout, but if you are trying to be heard by a larger audience you might want to speak slightly louder than normal.
• Speak Clearly: Avoid mumbling. Practice proper pronunciation of your words. If you have a tendency to mumble and want to break the habit, ask your close friends and family members to let you know each time you do it. You will soon become aware of it on your own and will be able to correct it.
• Speak slowly: Don't talk so slow that you put people to sleep, but don't race through your sentences at lightening speed either. You want all of your words to be heard so work on becoming aware of how fast you are speaking.
When you are developing your oral communication skills, you should also try to avoid:
• Speaking aggressively or offensively: Remain calm. Yelling does not get your point across more effectively, but saying the right words in a calm manner does.
• Speaking in a monotone voice: Add interest to your verbal communication and keep your listeners attention by using inflections in your voice to match the words that you are saying.
TIPS TO BE A GOOD LISTENER:
• Be quiet: Don't speak when you are supposed to be listening. Really listen.
• Don't get distracted: If you tend to get distracted easily, suggest that you go someplace quiet before you begin the conversation.
• Be sure of your role: If you are not sure if the person speaking to you is expecting some response from you or if they simply need to be heard, ask. For example: "Are you asking me for my advice?" or "Is there something that I can do to help you with this problem?"
• Don't offer unsolicited advice When someone asks you to listen to them, they are asking for a chance to be heard. If they want your advice they will ask for it. Do not offer advice unless it is specifically asked for.
• Don't be a problem solver: Many people feel compelled to try to solve other people's problems. If your advice is asked for you can suggest what you would do, otherwise butt-out. When someone comes to you to vent about a problem they are facing make appropriate comments to let them know you are listening but don't start offering solutions unless they are asked for. Nine times out of ten people feel better just having someone to vent their frustrations to?
• Don't criticize feelings: Everyone is entitled to their own feelings whether you find them right, wrong or indifferent. Don't ever say "You can't be mad at me for that," or "It's silly for you to feel that way." It takes a lot of courage for people to share their feelings, don't make them feel defensive.
• Be a calming influence: If someone starts to yell at you don't fall into their trap by yelling back. Try to calm them down by saying something like, "I can appreciate that you are angry and I am willing to discuss the matter with you. If you need a few minutes to calm down before we continue this conversation, I would be happy to wait." Be careful not to be sarcastic when you say something like this or you could wind up fueling the fire.
Impact of oral messages is:
• About 7 percent verbal (words only),
• 38 percent vocal (tone of voice, inflection, etc.), and
• 55 percent nonverbal.
So what is non-verbal communication? It includes everything from the simple shrug of the shoulder, the V-sign, the OK ring, the thumbs up gesture, eye movements, facial expressions, body posture, gestures, gait, and clothing to the tone of voice, the accent, and the inflections. Non-verbal components of communication also involve the use of space, of touch and smell and paralanguage.
BODY LANGUAGE:
We use our body and its different parts to communicate a lot of things. This communication through the body and its various parts is called body language. In addition to body language, nonverbal communication also includes the way we dress up for different occasions, the way we greet people, the way we use our hands while talking, the way we use space, etc.
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS:
Our faces are the most obvious vehicles for non-verbal communication Our faces are a constant source of information to the people around us. Our faces reveal how we are feeling inside while we might be trying to present a different emotion. For example, while telling a lie, a child tries to cover his or her mouth with both the hands. A teenager tries to cover her mouth with one hand. A grown up, while telling a lie, tries to cover his or her mouth partially with his fingers. These gestures are called the 'mouth guard' gestures. How can one's face say a lot without words? The colour of one's face, the wrinkles, presence or absence of facial hair all reveals a lot about a person’s personality. Hairstyle and make up provide insight into one's economic status, interest in fashion etc. So how we use facial expressions? We already have discussed the 'mouth guard' gesture used to hide one's face (mouth) while telling a lie. The 'nose-touching' gesture is a sophisticated version of the mouth guard gesture. Other 'hand and face' gestures include the ear rub (blocking the evil thoughts), the neck scratch (signaling doubt or uncertainty); the collar pull (hiding a lie); fingers in the mouth (when under pressure); etc.
EYE BEHAVIOUR:
Eyes form another major tool of non-verbal communication. From winking, seeing, glaring to staring, eyes can perform many functions. Eyes can 'caress'. Eyes can 'bore' into us. In fact, non verbally speaking, eyes are the most expressive parts of our body. Eye behaviour can do the following:
• Provide information
• Regulate interactions
• Exercise control,
• Express intimacy
Eye contact is another important tool. When one maintains eye contact with the audience, he or she is perceived as sincere, friendly and relaxed. In fact, effective orators and communicators use periodic eye checks to find out if the audience members are being attentive or not. One can be perceived to be either dominant or submissive depending upon the way one maintains eye contact. Another important function of eyes is expressing intimacy. Eyes help us create 'connections' with others. In fact, eyes have been described as "windows to the soul". Eyes help us encourage or discourage others, For example a simple glare may stop students from talking, while a warm glance and an encouraging smile often win many friends.
KINESICS AND BODY MOVEMENT:
In the early days, researchers classified body expressions according to the part involved like eye behaviour, hand gestures, trunk movements etc. But Ray Birdwhistell, a pioneering researcher and expert in the field of nonverbal communication, coined the term 'kinesics'. This means 'study of body movements'. There are five categories of body expressions. These include:
• Emblems (OK ring, touching the temple, putting a finger to the lips (to silence some body), the V-sign, the thumbs up sign, the thumb pointing side ways sign (for asking for a lift or to provide direction), pointing a finger)
• Illustrators (spreading the palms to illustrate the size or length)
• Regulators, (gazes, nods, raised eyebrows)
• Affect displays, (angry stares, wide eyes, trembling hands or knocking knees) and
• Body manipulators. (rubbing one's eye or stretching when tired, rubbing one's chins while thinking)
POSTURE AND GAIT:
The way we stand or sit (posture) and the way we walk (gait) are strong indicators of our physical and emotional states. When we are aggressive we sit or stand straight and in an alert manner. When we are defensive we usually sink into a chair or stand with our head, shoulder hanging. Similarly when we have a problem we walk slowly with our heads down and our hands
clasped behind. When confident we walk with our chin raised, chest puffed and arms swinging freely. Our legs are often little stiff and our walk has a 'bounce' when we are confident. A standing posture with 'hands on hips’ indicates an aggressive frame of mind. Similarly Open hands indicate sincerity while clenched or closed fists reflect just the opposite. The closed arm-on-chest posture is the best example of defensiveness.
PERSONAL APPEARANCE:
Physical appearance is one of the most important factors that influences our interpersonal and group communication out comes. In fact, one's personal appearance is very crucial as it makes the all-important 'first impression'. This is particularly important as advertisements shape our minds day in and day out through all those beautiful people who endorse everything from hairpins. So we manipulate our personal appearance to look good.
CLOTHING:
Our clothes provide the visual clue to our personality. Clothes also indicate about one's age, interests, and attitudes. Information about one's status can be judged from the clothes' age, condition and fashion. Clothes are used as means of keeping up with the latest social changes. Also clothes are means of decoration and self-expression. A person's dress can perform functions ranging from protection, sexual attraction, self-assertion, self-denial, concealment, group identification, and the display of status and role. Clothing also indicates about a person's confidence, character and sociability. These are the reasons why it is said that 'clothes make a person'.
TOUCHING:
It is the most common form of physical contact between human and animals. Human beings use touching to emphasis a point, interrupt (grabbing some body's elbow), as a calming gesture (patting the back), to reassure (we even touch ourselves for this purpose). Also, touching is very important to healthy development of children.
PROXEMICS:
By now we have understood that we communicate with the help of words, gestures, and facial expressions. An additional way of communicating is through the 'use of space'. Often we place ourselves in certain spatial (space wise) relationships with other people and objects. The study of these spatial factors is called 'proxemics'. There are four spatial zones of interpersonal communication:
• Intimate distance (ranges from actual contact to about 3-6 inches. We allow only intimate persons within in this range. Of course, there is forced closeness as in the case of a crowded lift), 8-6 inch -too close
• Personal distance (Used for casual interactions. It ranges form 12-20 inch ),
• Social distance (Maintained with people with whom we are meeting of the first time or while conducting business. This distance ranges from 20 inch to 5 feet), and
• Public distance (Maximum distance during face-to-face situations is maintained during public dealings. This public distance ranges from 6 feet to 100 feet. Examples of public distance are classroom lecture or a formal public address).
PARA LANGUAGE:
Oral communication does not just occur through the words uttered. The words are supplemented by a lot of other factors - particularly related to the voice. The pitch, tempo, range, resonance, and quality of voice add a lot of flesh and blood to the words. Other than these vocal characteristics, many vocal sounds also add to the oral communication. These include grunts, groans, clearing of throat etc. All these vocal characteristics and vocal sounds constitute 'paralanguage'. This is considered a 'language alongside of language'.
'Pitch' is the raising or lowering of our voice. Speaking without pitch variation makes the speech monotonous.
'Resonance' on the other hand is the variation of volume from a quite and thin voice to loud, booming voice. People with quite voices tend to be shy while those with booming voices are considered to be confident.
Speaking too fast or too slow is a variation of 'tempo'. Those who speak too fast want to finish their talk or speech too soon. This is a sign of nervousness or inexperience. Good orators know how and where to pause and usually speak slowly. This deliberate mode of speaking indicates that the speaker is thinking while speaking and not just rambling.
SMELL & TASTE:
We receive a lot of information about our environment through the sense of smell. Like a particular fragrance announces the arrival of a particular person. Body odors also provide clues about a person’s hygienic state. We also send out a lot of information through smell. We use deodorants, body sprays, hanky sprays, itar etc. To hide smell of onion or garlic we brush our teeth and gargle with mouthwash. Like smell, taste is also a silent sense that receives and sends messages.
NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION
In verbal communication we use words. Written communication occurs through printed or written words. And oral communication occurs through words spoken 'out loud'. On the other hand, nonverbal communication uses tonal variations, gestures, hand movements, facial expressions, posture, gait, etc. Albert Mehrabian, expert on body language and author of such books as Tactics in Social Influence (Prentice Hall, New Jersey, 1969) and Silent Messages (Wads-worth, California, 1971) found out that the total impact of oral message. His research reveals about the oral message understanding in the following way.Impact of oral messages is:
• About 7 percent verbal (words only),
• 38 percent vocal (tone of voice, inflection, etc.), and
• 55 percent nonverbal.
So what is non-verbal communication? It includes everything from the simple shrug of the shoulder, the V-sign, the OK ring, the thumbs up gesture, eye movements, facial expressions, body posture, gestures, gait, and clothing to the tone of voice, the accent, and the inflections. Non-verbal components of communication also involve the use of space, of touch and smell and paralanguage.
BODY LANGUAGE:
We use our body and its different parts to communicate a lot of things. This communication through the body and its various parts is called body language. In addition to body language, nonverbal communication also includes the way we dress up for different occasions, the way we greet people, the way we use our hands while talking, the way we use space, etc.
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS:
Our faces are the most obvious vehicles for non-verbal communication Our faces are a constant source of information to the people around us. Our faces reveal how we are feeling inside while we might be trying to present a different emotion. For example, while telling a lie, a child tries to cover his or her mouth with both the hands. A teenager tries to cover her mouth with one hand. A grown up, while telling a lie, tries to cover his or her mouth partially with his fingers. These gestures are called the 'mouth guard' gestures. How can one's face say a lot without words? The colour of one's face, the wrinkles, presence or absence of facial hair all reveals a lot about a person’s personality. Hairstyle and make up provide insight into one's economic status, interest in fashion etc. So how we use facial expressions? We already have discussed the 'mouth guard' gesture used to hide one's face (mouth) while telling a lie. The 'nose-touching' gesture is a sophisticated version of the mouth guard gesture. Other 'hand and face' gestures include the ear rub (blocking the evil thoughts), the neck scratch (signaling doubt or uncertainty); the collar pull (hiding a lie); fingers in the mouth (when under pressure); etc.
EYE BEHAVIOUR:
Eyes form another major tool of non-verbal communication. From winking, seeing, glaring to staring, eyes can perform many functions. Eyes can 'caress'. Eyes can 'bore' into us. In fact, non verbally speaking, eyes are the most expressive parts of our body. Eye behaviour can do the following:
• Provide information
• Regulate interactions
• Exercise control,
• Express intimacy
Eye contact is another important tool. When one maintains eye contact with the audience, he or she is perceived as sincere, friendly and relaxed. In fact, effective orators and communicators use periodic eye checks to find out if the audience members are being attentive or not. One can be perceived to be either dominant or submissive depending upon the way one maintains eye contact. Another important function of eyes is expressing intimacy. Eyes help us create 'connections' with others. In fact, eyes have been described as "windows to the soul". Eyes help us encourage or discourage others, For example a simple glare may stop students from talking, while a warm glance and an encouraging smile often win many friends.
KINESICS AND BODY MOVEMENT:
In the early days, researchers classified body expressions according to the part involved like eye behaviour, hand gestures, trunk movements etc. But Ray Birdwhistell, a pioneering researcher and expert in the field of nonverbal communication, coined the term 'kinesics'. This means 'study of body movements'. There are five categories of body expressions. These include:
• Emblems (OK ring, touching the temple, putting a finger to the lips (to silence some body), the V-sign, the thumbs up sign, the thumb pointing side ways sign (for asking for a lift or to provide direction), pointing a finger)
• Illustrators (spreading the palms to illustrate the size or length)
• Regulators, (gazes, nods, raised eyebrows)
• Affect displays, (angry stares, wide eyes, trembling hands or knocking knees) and
• Body manipulators. (rubbing one's eye or stretching when tired, rubbing one's chins while thinking)
POSTURE AND GAIT:
The way we stand or sit (posture) and the way we walk (gait) are strong indicators of our physical and emotional states. When we are aggressive we sit or stand straight and in an alert manner. When we are defensive we usually sink into a chair or stand with our head, shoulder hanging. Similarly when we have a problem we walk slowly with our heads down and our hands
clasped behind. When confident we walk with our chin raised, chest puffed and arms swinging freely. Our legs are often little stiff and our walk has a 'bounce' when we are confident. A standing posture with 'hands on hips’ indicates an aggressive frame of mind. Similarly Open hands indicate sincerity while clenched or closed fists reflect just the opposite. The closed arm-on-chest posture is the best example of defensiveness.
PERSONAL APPEARANCE:
Physical appearance is one of the most important factors that influences our interpersonal and group communication out comes. In fact, one's personal appearance is very crucial as it makes the all-important 'first impression'. This is particularly important as advertisements shape our minds day in and day out through all those beautiful people who endorse everything from hairpins. So we manipulate our personal appearance to look good.
CLOTHING:
Our clothes provide the visual clue to our personality. Clothes also indicate about one's age, interests, and attitudes. Information about one's status can be judged from the clothes' age, condition and fashion. Clothes are used as means of keeping up with the latest social changes. Also clothes are means of decoration and self-expression. A person's dress can perform functions ranging from protection, sexual attraction, self-assertion, self-denial, concealment, group identification, and the display of status and role. Clothing also indicates about a person's confidence, character and sociability. These are the reasons why it is said that 'clothes make a person'.
TOUCHING:
It is the most common form of physical contact between human and animals. Human beings use touching to emphasis a point, interrupt (grabbing some body's elbow), as a calming gesture (patting the back), to reassure (we even touch ourselves for this purpose). Also, touching is very important to healthy development of children.
PROXEMICS:
By now we have understood that we communicate with the help of words, gestures, and facial expressions. An additional way of communicating is through the 'use of space'. Often we place ourselves in certain spatial (space wise) relationships with other people and objects. The study of these spatial factors is called 'proxemics'. There are four spatial zones of interpersonal communication:
• Intimate distance (ranges from actual contact to about 3-6 inches. We allow only intimate persons within in this range. Of course, there is forced closeness as in the case of a crowded lift), 8-6 inch -too close
• Personal distance (Used for casual interactions. It ranges form 12-20 inch ),
• Social distance (Maintained with people with whom we are meeting of the first time or while conducting business. This distance ranges from 20 inch to 5 feet), and
• Public distance (Maximum distance during face-to-face situations is maintained during public dealings. This public distance ranges from 6 feet to 100 feet. Examples of public distance are classroom lecture or a formal public address).
PARA LANGUAGE:
Oral communication does not just occur through the words uttered. The words are supplemented by a lot of other factors - particularly related to the voice. The pitch, tempo, range, resonance, and quality of voice add a lot of flesh and blood to the words. Other than these vocal characteristics, many vocal sounds also add to the oral communication. These include grunts, groans, clearing of throat etc. All these vocal characteristics and vocal sounds constitute 'paralanguage'. This is considered a 'language alongside of language'.
'Pitch' is the raising or lowering of our voice. Speaking without pitch variation makes the speech monotonous.
'Resonance' on the other hand is the variation of volume from a quite and thin voice to loud, booming voice. People with quite voices tend to be shy while those with booming voices are considered to be confident.
Speaking too fast or too slow is a variation of 'tempo'. Those who speak too fast want to finish their talk or speech too soon. This is a sign of nervousness or inexperience. Good orators know how and where to pause and usually speak slowly. This deliberate mode of speaking indicates that the speaker is thinking while speaking and not just rambling.
SMELL & TASTE:
We receive a lot of information about our environment through the sense of smell. Like a particular fragrance announces the arrival of a particular person. Body odors also provide clues about a person’s hygienic state. We also send out a lot of information through smell. We use deodorants, body sprays, hanky sprays, itar etc. To hide smell of onion or garlic we brush our teeth and gargle with mouthwash. Like smell, taste is also a silent sense that receives and sends messages.
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